After Peter Pan: Growing Up to Purpose
After Peter Pan is a podcast hosted by Pat Tenneriello that dives into the journey of growing up and discovering purpose.
Inspired by Pat's own experience of leaving behind a "Peter Pan" lifestyle—one focused on chasing fun and avoiding responsibility—the podcast speaks to anyone on their path of personal growth. Whether you're looking to live a healthier life, further develop your growth mindset, or seek closer alignment with your sense of purpose, this show is for you.
Each episode features an in-depth conversation with a special guest who shares their own story of transformation. Through these interviews, you'll gain insights, practical tools, and wisdom to help navigate your own path to self-realization. From overcoming obstacles to embracing change, After Peter Pan explores what it really means to grow—on your own terms.
New episodes drop every two weeks. Join the community and start growing with purpose.
After Peter Pan: Growing Up to Purpose
The Creative Journey of a Loving Soul | Francois Coulombe-Giguère
Episode Overview:
In this episode of After Peter Pan, Pat Tenneriello sits down with award-winning filmmaker, videographer, and former hip-hop artist François Coulombe-Giguère. We dive into what makes him not just a creative powerhouse, but also an incredibly lovable soul—exploring his journey through his art, love, and fatherhood.
What You’ll Learn:
- What Makes Someone Instantly Likable?
- The Likability Paradox: People-Pleasing vs. Authenticity
- How Vulnerability Builds Deeper Connections
- Where Creativity Comes From—And How to Nurture It
- Beyond Emulation: Embracing Your Uniqueness
- A Game-Changing Mindset on Failure (Hint: It Doesn’t Exist!)
- How to Restore Faith in Love & Marriage After Divorce
- Fatherhood’s Biggest Lessons & Unexpected Surprises
- How to Balance Career, Creativity & Life Without Burning Out
Social Media:
François (00:03)
picture like, these rock and roll.
celebrities overdoing indulging in way too much and festivities and whatever. That's not how I lived it.
a dedication. And dedication takes a lot of commitment. To be able to release an album, you have no idea until you do it of how much discipline and work it takes. Inward journey.
Pat Tenneriello (00:29)
Welcome to the After Peter Pan podcast, where we explore what it means to grow up and find purpose. I'm your host, Pat Tenerello. In today's conversation, I sit down with Francois Coulombe-Gigard, an award-winning filmmaker, videographer, radio newscaster, and former music hip hop artist. What's unique about Francois isn't just his all-around creative soul, but also his uniquely likable and warm personality.
In today's conversation, we explore why people are so drawn to Francois's personality. We dive into the breadth of his creative career, where creativity comes from, how to nurture it, and we discuss his personal journey from his fairy tale love story to his path to fatherhood and how he balances it all. I'm thrilled to share this conversation with my brother-in-law, Francois, an inspiring, successful, present, and vulnerable person whom I admire.
Enjoy the episode.
François (01:22)
you're 100 % bullseye accurate when you name some of the stuff that we have in common in terms of personality. think I too have a tendency to, you
figure out how I feel before I communicate it because I'm worried it's gonna come out wrong, because I'm worried I'm gonna hurt people, I'm trying to let it out more now and.
Thanks to my wife who's helping me a lot in this as well. I feel like I've become a better communicator with my emotions since I've been with her. But my sort of nature, my sort of go-to behavior when it comes to strong emotions or deep questioning is always to be like more introverted and more like, okay, I need to figure this thing out inside before I let it out. So yeah, you're totally right.
Pat Tenneriello (02:17)
you have a very unique personality in the sense that on the one hand, what you just shared, you can be introverted. need to reflect before you can share your emotions.
But at the same time, I think you are like a very outgoing person, someone who likes to be in front of the camera, you do in your career, someone who likes to voice their opinions, someone who likes to share, someone who likes to connect with people. And so in some ways, those are at odds with one another.
how would you describe that sort of back and forth dynamic between extrovertedness and introvertedness?
François (02:53)
One of my good friends, Marie-Hélène, shared a book with me that really gave idea of where that could come from. Just to give you a little bit of background story,
my parents separated when I was very, very young. up on one side with my mom. At my mom's, I was the only child.
so even though I have a sister I love her dearly, I still lived like an only child.
And the book that my friend gave me, my book was, my friend was also an only child. The title was really described at all. was, being an only child, and I'm translating it from French, so I hope I'm gonna do it right. it said mature socially, emotionally immature.
Pat Tenneriello (03:40)
Hmm.
François (03:41)
It's being an only child, you become socially mature at a very young age because you are the only child in the house. So you get a lot of attention from adults. You pick up a lot on the adult energy. You learn to communicate with adults at a very young age. And it's not like you have to fight for the attention. It's not like you have to fight for anything basically. So I would like grow up
with my mom, yes, I my friends, I would play with my friends and everything. And your friends, when you're an only child, they end up sort of like replacing a bit the brothers and sisters you wish you had on a daily basis.
So in this adult world, my mom, she was like a single mother. had a bunch of friends from work and whatever. So you end up playing a lot with adults and really being accustomed and not intimidated by the adult world. So that's where I think you learn a lot of social skills at a very young age. But...
what this book taught made me realize about my life is that these moments in your childhood where you are in the family unit on a daily basis, fighting with your brothers and sisters, teasing each other, this gets you more mature emotionally, I find, at a young age because you learn to more conflict resolution. You learn a bunch of emotional skills.
in that environment that are then, I think, very important in life. So that's why I relate to that, mature socially, immature emotionally. It took me a longer time than, let's say, my wife, Tina, who had, you know, you and four, you and the three other brothers in the household to learn her place, to learn to be solid in conflict resolution, to be solid with
who she was emotionally to get her emotions out when she needed to because it becomes, I guess, some kind of a survival thing, right? You you need to get your emotions out. You need to tell your limits with your brothers and sisters or otherwise you're gonna get stepped on. And you don't learn that when you're like in a household where was just you and you have all the attention and you have nothing to fight for. So I think that personality trick comes from that life experience.
Pat Tenneriello (05:59)
Hmm.
We also associate an only child with other traits, stereotypes, I would say, because it's certainly not always the case. But yeah, think, you know, only child syndrome is, you know, the world revolves around you. You might associate it with big ego, might associate it with, yeah, self-centeredness, I would say. I don't think those are traits that I would describe you having. the opposite.
Why do you think that is?
François (06:39)
I think from my experience depends of the parenting style. Because imagine if you're an only child and your parents treat you like your royalty or whatever. It's like parents of an only child have more time to devote to that kid, right? So.
if these parents end up doing everything for the kid, ends up spoiling the kid, then I think it's where all these traits can emerge. Whereas my parents were very live and let live. They left me a lot of alone time. They left me very autonomous. My mom would still do her thing. Like from at a very young age, I would just, you know, walk back from school alone and, you know, wait.
until she would come back from work. Then she had to do dinner and then after dinner, like she had things to do. she was teacher, so she had a lot of corrections to do at night. and my dad, they both gave me like a lot of quality time, but let me be. And they gave me a lot of trust as well. like I spent a lot of time.
I would say on my own learning autonomy at a very young age. So I think it depends of the parenting style when I was reading that book about being an only child, was reading some testimonies about other other only child were saying they were sharing their experience with their parents and it was mostly like, yeah.
Parents would spoil them, parents would give them too much attention. And I was like, no, that doesn't resonate with me. Like I had a lot of quality time with my parents. I'm grateful for the way they raised me. And I think that trait, that know, that kind of care, that listening came maybe from the fact from the fact that I was an only child, friends were very important to me.
So being an only child is not something
It's not like you're an only child, you're like this. The parenting style is also very, very important.
Pat Tenneriello (08:50)
being an only child, you know, your friends were important to you. And of course.
to have friends, people need to want to be around you. And so that's where, that's where I would say the trait of likeability comes in. Like you're a very likable person. have yet to meet someone who, who has met you and said, I really dislike that guy. What a, what an awful person. You know, quite the contrary. think, I think everyone without exception or exaggeration that has spoken to me about you has had nothing but positive things to say.
François (09:23)
Well, thank you.
Pat Tenneriello (09:24)
Why
what would you say makes you so likeable?
François (09:27)
Wow. I always have doubts about all these things, right? You know, like when we reflect on our lives and why we are the way we are, it's never like, there will never be a definite answer. But what I think is that the way I grew up and it has its good side and its downside.
I became, I have a people pleasing kind of personality. got, and I for sure got that in my upbringing. I don't know where exactly, I don't know why. I don't know if it's, know, the separation of my parents at a very early age that automatically triggered maybe a sense of like,
I don't want to lose the people around me, so I better be nice.
The way I grew up, never really learned conflict resolution in my young age. And it's something that I've had, I still to this day have a hard time with that, with conflict resolution. I became better at it. Definitely, definitely. But I know that it's something I struggle with for a long time. So I think maybe this trait of being likable and wanting to be, know, to have
good contact with people. It comes from, I think it can come from two things. It can come from the good thing is that I truly thrive in the presence of people. I love connecting with people. Like it is a fuel for me. That's my, maybe my extraverted side. When I, whether it's in my work, whether it's in my personal life, I just love getting to know people, getting to feel, you know.
You know that feeling, right? When you connect with someone on a true nature to true nature level. And sometimes it can happen with strangers. Sometimes it can happen with the barista who serves you your coffee every week when you go to that place. I thrive with these moments. I just love them. So that I think it is a part of my nature. And I think it's a part of human nature as well, because we love connecting with people.
But also I think it can come from that people pleasing upbringing that I've had basically. Like all my life I wanted to have, you when you're a kid you want attention, you need attention. How are you gonna get that with adults? You're gonna be pleasing, right? You're not gonna be the little kid who's gonna be like, ah, you know? You're just gonna have this pleasing nature.
It's fascinating when you think about it, but yeah, as a kid, you learn to get what you want in whatever context you are. So I think it comes from that. It's a good thing. Being like someone nice, being someone, I like the way I am. I love the way I am. And I love acting that way. And it's not acting, it's who I am.
Pat Tenneriello (12:20)
Yeah. know you haven't finished the last episode with my dad, but we touched on people pleasing because there was a podcast episode I listened to and he, this guy's a, he calls himself the people displeaser. So he actually coaches people on breaking that habit of being a people pleaser. And like you said, there can be some noble characteristics, but also some downsides to being a people pleaser. By the way, that's a trait that I also
François (12:25)
Yeah.
Pat Tenneriello (12:45)
relate to, I would consider myself a people pleaser. It's me well, but also I think it's caused me some harm being the middle child in a five child family a tumultuous household at times and two older brothers that were, getting a lot of attention, but negative attention.
And so I felt being the next one in line that I had to be sort of the angel. wanted to be the complete opposite of that. that's why, and so for that reason, I think that's where the people pleasing maybe some of the source of it came from. think it served me well in my career as in sales because part of selling is mimicking the other person through body language, through communication. I feel like I naturally that there's something that I do.
I've made sales where I've gone into a meeting and I've just listened to the person talk for the entire time and just kind of mimic their energy and what they were going through and not even talk once about the product and never thought I'd even make the sale. And then I'd go back home from the trip and I get an email saying, Hey, we're, we're going to pull the trigger and buy this. And so I think like being that people pleased that served me well in that regard.
Certainly that does help with likability. Perhaps at the detriment is that people may not get the opportunity to see the real you. I don't know if you can relate to that, but I also wanted to add two things. When I think about why you're such a liked person, there's two traits that come to mind for me. One is I find you very affectionate. The way that you greet,
me and you greet people, it's, very warm and very sincere. the way you embrace, like you hug and you say hello and you say, how are you doing? And you look me in the eyes. I think that that's something that stands out. And the second one is your willingness to be vulnerable. you love that, that it was moments of connectedness. And I found.
Especially when I was going through therapy and working through my childhood trauma and choosing to share that story with my loved ones, it put me in a very vulnerable place that I had never, never really been before. that was scary. And what I found was how powerful vulnerability can be because when I did go to that place, I immediately felt very connected to the person I was sharing with. And more often than not.
they would reciprocate with something equally or even more vulnerable than what I had shared with them. And I think that you have that. think during my speech at your wedding, I highlighted that as a trait that both you and Tina have to me is very obvious. And I think that that also is reflected in people being connected and you being liked.
François (15:35)
where I find like I'm a bit of an extraterrestrial sometimes. And I felt like that in moments when I was like in high school or later on. Because you feel that, you know, most people have this front, you know, like,
like this sort of like they want to protect themselves or and it takes a bit of time to pierce Whereas Both my parents are people who are not afraid to be vulnerable, but I would say it's very dominant in my dad. So to have that sort of like model in my experience as a man.
was tremendously important.
never had to worry about having quality time and quality conversations with my dad. And I was never, never, and still to this day, never afraid to open up to him about what I was feeling. And he would always have these good questions. Same thing with my mom. When I would open up with both of them, they would always help me figure out what's, okay, what's going on inside of
Pat Tenneriello (16:39)
It's interesting how you described your dad and that willingness to open up and share his emotions and also be very open with him, I suppose, in whatever topic that may potentially in a typical father-son relationship could bring up some shame or some guilt you might keep to yourself. You may choose to share with friends rather than your father. Hearing you talk about that relationship and that trait that your dad has and also the closeness that you have to your mom.
I feel like you're in touch with your feminine energy. would you agree with that?
François (17:14)
Can you imagine how happy I am now that I have two daughters?
Pat Tenneriello (17:18)
It's fate. Life has gotten you ready for this.
François (17:20)
It's
It's honestly, you know, you're 100 % accurate in what you say. And that definitely comes from, you know, growing up with my mom. You know, my mom, where we were living, she was in a, what we call it a condo, but it's more like an apartment, you know, like it's all building with six different units in Quebec City. And it was like mostly occupied by single women, by single moms, right? So it was like, so.
Pat Tenneriello (17:46)
Okay. Right.
François (17:49)
You know, one of her best friend was living across the street. Another one of her best friend was living down, like in the, we were in the third floor. She was in the first. So, you know, if I had like, whatever, like, you know, if I ever come, came home and my mom was not there, whatever, I could always knock at her door. My mom would have girlfriends over all the time. I always say that I have multiple moms. I have a lot of moms. Like, yes, there's my mom, but there's my aunt, like her closest sister, who is like a mom, like a mother to me.
I have like at least like two or three of her friends that I also see like as sort of like motherhood figures. So all my life I was never intimidated by women because I feel like I grew up in an environment of women, right? So I'm sure it influenced the way I am. And yes, I feel like I'm in touch with what you might call like a feminine energy, but I just call that it's something that we attribute
to women because of the culture we grow up in.
this culture, yes, I have a lot a lot of things from the feminine energy. And I love it. It's how I grew up and I would always, and even to this day, I feel like a fish in the sea surrounded by women and not necessarily in a seductive set out. Like for example, like,
The very first day that Tina and I became a couple, I'll always remember it was January 4th, we went for a drink and we decided, okay, we're gonna stop fooling around, we're gonna be serious, we're gonna seize that opportunity and we're gonna get together. That night, when it happened, it was very spontaneous, she had a birthday with a couple of her girlfriends.
And she just invited me and I was like, well, I don't want to be the only guy tagging along. mean, you can have fun with your friends. It's okay. We can like, you know, go on a date later this week. But she was like, no, no, no, I really want you to come. So I ended up going and it was not intimidating at all for me. Like I was with her girlfriends. We were chatting, blah, blah, and everything. It was just fun. So yeah, you're right. I have that and I embrace it. And like I said, with two daughters now and
Tina, like I feel like overly blessed.
Pat Tenneriello (20:17)
Right. And you had talked earlier about conflict resolution was something that you're working on. Now, I'm assuming what that means is that you tend to avoid conflict. Not that you, because it could also mean someone who explodes at conflict and doesn't know how to handle it and goes, you know, flies off the handle. In your case, I'm assuming, and this, feel like I could relate to is
François (20:24)
Yep. yeah.
That's it. Yeah.
Pat Tenneriello (20:45)
is to avoid conflict as much as possible. that correct?
François (20:48)
Exactly,
exactly and maybe you will relate on what I'm saying but you and you avoid it by adapting. I will you know adapt to the situation to not get to a conflict moment but what that means is that sometimes I will bottle up what I'm feeling
And when you do that, when you bottle up, well, sometimes when it comes out, it's not pretty. it will have to come up at certain point. Otherwise, it's an expression, otherwise, it's like you're developing a little cancer. It's something that's going to be there and it's going to grow unless you take care of it.
have done it by, know, being adapting to the other person, a bit like what you were saying in sales, right? Mimicking like the other person's energy, trying to not get in that, basically like shutting off that inside voice sometimes that tells you like, no, know, that I'm not okay
Pat Tenneriello (21:46)
I'm glad you brought up the bottling up because that is one area that I genuinely am interested in learning more
let me be specific.
I love my sister to death. but I've seen situations where she snapped at you where, she's been impatient.
In that situation, I thought, how does, how does he put up with that? Cause I don't see a reaction. And I think this guy is a saint. And I think I could learn something from this situation because he's, he's able to put aside his own needs to deal with the moment in probably the best way that you could possibly deal with it.
Now, does that come naturally to you or, do you bottle it up in that situation and you process it and it comes out later?
François (22:34)
this ability, let's call it like that, to handle a situation like this, I think it comes from trusting the other person.
I know Tina loves me. I know that I love her like I've never loved anyone before. And
you know how a relationship works, right? First you have the honeymoon phase that can last a certain time. In that honeymoon phase, everybody is like all peace and love, all adapting to the other, all trying to please the other and whatever. It's like you're on a trip, right? You show your good side, you're still in that seductive period of the couple. But as you go through stuff, to more and more stuff,
then you start showing your true colors, even your sad and your whole personality. Tina has helped me deal with stuff. I helped her deal with stuff emotionally. there's nobody else in the world that I trust more. So when these moments...
happen, yes sometimes the first thing I would like to go to is like and I do and in intimacy I also will do it sometimes you know I'll answer in a not nice way if I'm spoken to in not a nice way I will answer not in a nice way I want to be more comfortable doing it with time but generally when it happens it's because I know where it comes from
I know she does not mean to disrespect me. know sometimes if she's impatient it's because she is going through something herself. And that's the way it has to come out for herself. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't take it personal. It's not me that's...
that she's necessarily attacking, she is answering this thing that she's going through. trust that she doesn't wanna do me harm. So when these moments happen, I would say that's how it is. And I know that if I fire back also on a more practical level, I know that if I fire back, forget it, we're in for, you know, I'm just feeling.
Pat Tenneriello (24:42)
Does that
François (25:01)
I'm just gonna be feeding the fire.
also like what I think is that I admire strength of maybe admired because I would like to have a bit more of that. And I definitely think that I found Tina and that I'm holding on emotionally to Tina and that I love her so much because I think that in life we're also like, we also learn to
Go for what we need. And it's love, but it's also going for what you need. And I know that she's helping me live better. She's helping me understand myself. And I think I do the same. I think it's an exchange. I think I do the same for her. So
Pat Tenneriello (25:31)
you
you choose a life partner,
You can choose a few options, right? Like three options, I would say. You can choose a pushover where you can always be the one commanding the other person. suboptimal situation. Maybe in the short term, it feels pretty good to be able to boss someone around, but in the long term, you know how that's going to end resentment and no growth on your part because you're not challenged. Then you can go the other way, right? And you can be with someone who just completely commandeering you and, and, and
the situation is flipped and, then you're going to be the one feeling that resentment and those other emotions. And what you really want is that middle ground, which is you want someone to contend with. You want someone who's going to push you when you need to be pushed, but who's also going to be compassionate and loving and soft when they need to be soft. And so you, you want someone to kind of have that tug, that tug of war, that push and pull with.
and it sounds like that's something that you have with Tina.
François (26:46)
Totally. We seem so different in terms of our personality sometimes, I would say.
but we are very much alike. We are mostly the same person. It's just that we have different ways of expressing ourselves. We had a different upbringing, so we have different reflexes. But at the core, we are very much alike. So in this relationship, I feel that it's balanced because I feel challenged in a good way. I always feel loved.
And that's the base, right? Even when you feel challenged, do you feel loved? I do with my wife. never doubt, despite the very harsh thing I can hear from her, I never doubt a second about her feelings for me and desire for my happiness. It all comes from a good... I think you can tell any...
anything to anyone as long as that other person knows where it comes from.
with Tina, we have, I truly believe we have this balance of like, we know we have each other's happiness and wellbeing at heart.
Pat Tenneriello (28:05)
very level-headed in the way you're describing the way you handle these situations. Now in the situation, in the moment, we don't always behave the way that we want to. I can certainly overreact if someone rubs me the wrong way. My wife rubs me the wrong way or speaks to me in a different way. It sounds like you are really good in the moment to process.
François (28:22)
Me too. Yeah.
Pat Tenneriello (28:32)
and that's because there's a strong level of confidence, of trust in your marriage. Practically speaking in the moment, do you have any habits? Like, do you take a deep breath if you feel like the moment's taking you away from that level of headedness? You take a deep breath, you count to three, you turn your, twist your tongue around in your mouth or does it just come naturally to you?
François (28:54)
I guess it comes naturally.
When it happens and you know, let's say she's being harder on me for like, or impatient for whatever reason, I try to focus on like, okay, what is she saying? What is she saying emotionally? What is the message there? Because sometimes the words and the need can be sometimes a bit
Sometimes we don't and that's flip side of when you're someone who's letting in all out on the moment is that sometimes you can say things you regret. Sometimes you don't choose the right words so you can hurt people and whatever. Tina is perfectly aware of that. So
try to get the message beyond the words And on the flip side, having a nature like mine or like ours where we're gonna be maybe more reserved when something and not letting it out in the moment, I think it can do equal amount of damage if not more, because how do you want the person to know?
how to take care of you when you don't voice it out, when you don't voice your needs.
Pat Tenneriello (30:11)
Let's move into a direction of your career I'm going to start by showing you a video.
François (30:19)
my uncle posted this.
Pat Tenneriello (30:21)
He
So this is a video.
François (30:22)
man, that's a long time ago.
Pat Tenneriello (30:24)
for those who are listening to the podcast, this is a video of Francois, in 2013, doing a live rap. and he's rapping live on a Quebec, television show. He did this often. He did this on the radio. He did this on TV and he did it live
François (30:31)
Yeah.
Pat Tenneriello (30:47)
He has this really amazing ability to take news, take biographies of people's lives and to create these raps in a minute or two or three and then perform them live.
And so I'll stop the video here.
So the reason I wanted to show that is because, well, for a couple of reasons. One is we talked earlier, like you're not an arrogant person. not self-centered person, but you are a confident person in order to go and perform the way that you have on a live show like that lie. Like where do you get the confidence to do something like that?
François (31:27)
It's an interesting.
When it comes to this rapping thing, well, it came from experience, right? Like what you showed there was in 2013 when I got a gig at Radio Canada, which is the French CBC, which is like basically national television.
That was in 2013. I started rapping when I was a teenager in 1996. I mean, when you do it for so long, you become very confident in your craft. shy public speaker. I remember at school, I was always looking forward to share when it was time to do...
speak in front of the class.
So I was never shy with that. I always thrived in arts class, in theater, like I was good at improv when I was a kid.
Again, being an only child, you have a lot of time alone. You have a lot of time to discover what you like, what you don't like, to practice your You have a lot of time to discover yourself and discover your inner resources because you're not constantly distracted or whatever. You basically have to entertain yourself very often.
And on the creative side of my career, think that's what helped me gain a lot of confidence because I had a lot of time to practice whatever craft I wanted to get into.
Pat Tenneriello (32:53)
so you started rapping in 1996. Wow. I didn't know that. How did you discover your love for rap?
François (33:00)
I remember I had tickets to Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer when I was like 10 years old. I had tickets, but it was an outside show in Quebec City and it got canceled because of the rain. was so pissed. But anyways, that's when I first got into that music.
Pat Tenneriello (33:03)
Hahaha
Alright.
François (33:16)
We always had these talent shows like maybe twice a year in high school. And I saw a guy, basically just interpreted a French rap song from a popular French rap artist. And I just like, hey, I should try that. because I loved rap so much and I tried it, ended up being good at it. So I just kept...
Pat Tenneriello (33:20)
Mm-hmm.
François (33:46)
kept going and just like in any creative endeavor, first you start by emulating. You emulate, it's like you see something you like, you're like, yeah, I wanna do the same. So then you start practicing, practicing and doing the same. And bit by bit, you always go a bit further, then you end up being like, okay, well, what if I wrote my own song? And step by step, just grow in, the craft grows in you.
Pat Tenneriello (34:02)
you
And then you joined a group, right? C E A.
François (34:19)
Yeah,
yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it.
Pat Tenneriello (34:22)
tell us a little bit about your, your life and your journey with that band and where it led you next.
François (34:29)
how it started is basically just people I met in university. high school. I had a group. We started performing. We started
writing our own songs. We kept going through Cégep, which in Quebec the two years that you do pre-university. So I had a friend of mine with whom I was rapping at the time. We kept on going. And at a certain moment I decided I wanted to do it a bit more on my own, but I never really had people to do it with. I met some
cool people in university, we formed the band and had quite good success when you think about it. I mean, we did all major festivals in the province of Quebec, in Montreal, we did all major festivals multiple times. released, well, the group, the collective released more, a couple of albums, but I was really part of the first one. And, you know, our single was playing on...
on radio or music video was playing on much music, by Musique Plus in French, much music in English. So, mean, we even went to Africa and Senegal to participate in a we did good for ourselves while it lasted. And this was just like a fantastic trip, like a fantastic moment.
in my life to actually like get a taste of what it's like.
Pat Tenneriello (35:53)
I'm assuming at that age and that the lifestyle that you associate with rap, it makes me think a little bit of the theme of this podcast, which is falling into that trap of the short term, the pleasure lifestyle, not thinking too much about tomorrow, enjoying today, maybe some of the vices that could come with that. Was that ever a trap that you felt tempted by or may have fallen into?
François (36:21)
I can easily argue that the association you make is not quite right. Because what we perceive in the creative lifestyle or in the music lifestyle or whatever is, what we perceive is like, you always picture like, these rock and roll.
Pat Tenneriello (36:28)
Okay, tell me more.
François (36:46)
celebrities overdoing it, like indulging in way too much parties and festivities and whatever. That's not how I lived it. Yes, of course, like there, it's an environment where you will have more booze than in the environment or more drugs than in an office work. That's for sure. But...
it's a dedication. And dedication takes a lot of commitment. To be able to release an album, you have no idea until you do it of how much discipline and work it takes. Inward journey. Also learning how to do it, how to actually like do it technically. digging yourself.
to get the best words out there possible. Wrapping in front of your colleagues in your group and they would say like, no, you can do better than that. this was tremendous. Keep going, keep going. Keep working in that direction. It takes an extreme amount of dedication, discipline.
it's something that you do, yes, for yourself, but it's also something that you do for others and that you do for the, you you do the album, you do the music you wanna listen to. So obviously if you do that, you're gonna do it for other people. It's a very generous thing. It's a very, and like I said, it needs dedication. You need to be a bit crazy, in my opinion, to really,
want to do that as a career, crazy in a good way. But I mean, it's an extreme amount of work. And in the moment that it happened in my life, it's quite funny because I was starting, it's not like it happened in my late teens or whatever, it happened in my early 20s when I was starting my career as a journalist as well. So sometimes I would be like on the air, on radio, delivering a newscast and two minutes later you would hear me rap on the single, you know, because we had radio airplay.
Pat Tenneriello (38:50)
Hmm.
François (38:51)
So it also happened in a moment in my life where I was already taking, starting my adulthood journey, already taking responsibilities. Of course the party life is real. I'm not saying that the party life and the pleasure life is not real. I'm just saying that it's not as simple as that.
Pat Tenneriello (39:16)
had journalism on one side, you had rap on the other. Maybe at some point you had to make a choice. came out of that?
François (39:25)
yes, you have to make choice with the time that you have. And like I said, music takes a lot and any time of creative, any kind of creative work takes a lot of dedication. And when that was happening in my life, I was also starting a business. I was also starting a video production business. I was also.
having more paying gigs where I was a radio journalist during the weekend, TV reporter part-time in the week. So there was just like a whole lot going. what really put an end to it for me was, met someone at the time and my group was based in Quebec City and we,
My girlfriend at the time was from Montreal and had professional opportunities in Montreal. And we made the decision that, I was the one who was going to move because I was the one who had maybe the flexibility to do so. And because music is something that you do in a group, it's something that, it's an energy, right? You have to be there when it happens. You have to be present.
Well, I guess I stayed involved with the group in many ways, but I slowly drifted apart because I was not physically present. And also because I had to make choices, right? So then I was in Montreal, I had to make ends meet, I had to work. It's not like I had a lot of time to dedicate to music. And to be quite honest, I think that that part of my creative journey like...
over because like I said, I was in my mid 20s. I was like, okay, music was, we were doing well. We were doing very well. but it's still like a small market and make at first, have to constantly invest it in your craft in order to like make it, it's like a business, right? You got to make it grow at first. It takes a lot of sacrifices at first. And
I also saw that my career was falling behind and I was like, well, music is really lottery. mean, chances for you to make it big are very slim. And I felt like, okay, I'm ready to pursue. I was kind of maybe a bit tired of being poor as well. it's a mix of things, but I would say what was the cut was really moving in another city. And also because I feel like I needed, I guess, to do something else.
Pat Tenneriello (41:59)
how would you describe your relationship with money, either then or now or the evolution of that relationship?
François (42:08)
I'm a natural spender. think we come from similar backgrounds in terms of money, whereas our parents, very middle class, I never felt like I lacked anything in my life.
but we couldn't afford every luxury out there.
so money was never really something I was obsessed with growing up. I was more obsessed with following passions. And for me, very early in my life I realized that I would rather
I would rather live in a modest way but enjoying what I do than making a lot of money and you know making too much sacrifices.
for me it's a tool. It's a tool basically to live, it's never a goal.
Pat Tenneriello (42:50)
Yeah. You know, you and I are different in that regard because I would say, I would say that a big chunk of my life has been about, I've been financially motivated, put it that way. And I made career decisions that maximized the opportunity for financial gain. And I didn't put a whole lot of thought into passion and meaning.
François (42:53)
Very different.
Pat Tenneriello (43:18)
and purpose from a career perspective. came a lot later. I wish it would have came sooner, you know, and it, took work. It still takes work. I think part of it's rooted in ego because I don't think I'm someone who likes extravagant things because even when I, in those years where I made a lot of money, at least in my standards, it was a lot of money.
my lifestyle did not change much at all. I'm not someone who's going to splurge and buy a first-class ticket. I'm still going to sit in economy. My, you know, my hotel choices is still gonna not going to change a whole lot.
François (43:55)
sure that comes
from your upbringing, the way you grew up, right? You feel comfortable in modest things.
never felt that craving for, yeah, I wanna do way better than my parents or whatever. It's like, no, I thought my parents were already like, in our age, if you were making like 50K a year, wow, you're set and done, you're good. Remember?
Pat Tenneriello (44:19)
Yeah. Times have changed. Pretty soon that'll be minimum wage. Now, you've been a rapper, journalist, radio journalist, social media, video producer. You've had your own video production company.
François (44:19)
Times have changed. Yeah that's it.
Pat Tenneriello (44:38)
how did you realize that you had this broad skillset? Was it developed over time? Did one lead to the next?
François (44:46)
It's something that happened gradually and step by step with one experience leading to another. I was never someone who had a career plan.
I always let things come to me. I don't chase. That's something that is natural, that isn't my nature. I don't know where it comes from, but I don't chase.
Pat Tenneriello (45:00)
Hmm.
François (45:07)
I mostly let opportunities come and I go where the flow is more natural. So journalism seemed the most natural thing for me. So okay, that's where I went. Then got a first job in journalism because in one of the class we had to produce a TV show. And we had to produce a TV show for the community television. People at community television were like, hey, this guy's not bad.
So okay, I got a first job, part-time job there. And then like opportunities sort of happen. One day I got a call from one of my previous teacher, a journalism teacher who like, he remembered, he's like, yeah, this guy has a radio voice. Maybe he would be interested because one of his former students was leaving his job newscasting on the weekend at these radio stations. And he called him he was like,
I need to be replaced soon. Do you know anyone who could do the job? The teacher called me. I was like, oh, okay. Took that opportunity. It came, went well.
and then video production came from doing television because I was in contact with that medium of expression of that, and I loved it. I fell in love with it. So that's it. It was always opportunities that came that I was like, do I like this? Yeah, I like this. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna pursue it, see what happens. We'll see what happens. That's basically how I navigate my professional life still to this day.
Pat Tenneriello (46:34)
attribute some of that to luck or was it pure effort?
François (46:37)
The effort is what you put once you are accepting the challenge and committed to it. there were circumstances that, you know, if I had not been in that journalism class with that teacher, would I have got such an opportunity like that with professional radio? No, I would have had to hustle. would have had to like...
Do the traditional route which is like you go like in faraway regions and you know Go take these jobs that have that less people, know give application to To like sort of like forge your craft and then have a chance in a bigger market My first job in radio was in Quebec City, which is a fair enough market Right away so like I'm That was certainly luck But then the effort that it's then the effort kicks in you you want to you want to be good at it? You want to you know,
that career. So yeah, would say these opportunities are just being at the right place at the right time, but also being very open at the opportunity and being able to listen to your voice and say like, I've never done this. Will I succeed? Will I be good? Yes, yes, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's give it a try.
Pat Tenneriello (47:55)
Yeah.
François (47:59)
and then putting the work to make it work.
Pat Tenneriello (48:01)
your relationship with failure?
François (48:03)
I just don't believe it exists.
Because I'm because
Pat Tenneriello (48:05)
Tell me more.
François (48:08)
very hard headed. When I commit to something, I commit to it.
Like 120%. So when you put that much effort and heart in what you do,
you don't feel failure because if something does not go, if you make a mistake, making mistakes happens all the time, all the time. I've made huge mistakes all my life, in my professional life. But they're mistakes. They're mistakes. You gotta remember that, no, like, you know, if I go home after delivering a very bad newscast or whatever, maybe I made poor editorial choices, I wrote something wrong.
I got a, sometimes it can happen. You have a complaint with something that you said or whatever, how you covered a certain topic. You can like go home and be like, I'm no good. But no, like at the time and place where I made that decision, I gave it my all. There's no failure there. There's a mistake. And what you do with mistakes, you learn from them.
you make these mistakes, you don't make them on purpose. They're just mistakes you made because you didn't have the skillset, because you didn't have the maturity, because you didn't have so and so. So can you blame yourself for not having these things when you did not have them?
Pat Tenneriello (49:30)
sounds like you're also able to manage your self-critic, that internal voice that can sometimes become a bully. either that, that voice isn't very loud in your head or you have tamed it.
François (49:43)
I always doubt. we say creative work, but any kind of work, any kind of creativity is not just doing something artistic. Creativity is everything we do, right? From the way we go in our day to like what we do for work, to the choices we make when we cook. It's like, know, creativity is everywhere. So
self-critic is always there. That's our mind, that's our survival equipment in our head that is speaking, right? But I think it's because I had, like I said, in my upbringing when I was a kid, I had a lot of time to learn what I like and what I dislike.
to listen to that internal voice basically because when you're alone playing at home, you're gonna follow what you feel for, you're gonna follow what you feel like. So you're gonna get your connections, your internal wiring is gonna develop that way. So my internal wiring developed that way and for example, like if I have to make a choice, now we're talking about careers. So if I'm in...
my professional life and my work in the workspace and I have to make a choice. The first voice that I will hear will be this one, the one, my internal voice, what is my instinct saying? I then have to sometimes take a pause to be like to think about it, to put the mind to work, to really be sure to validate what my instinct told me, sometimes.
Pat Tenneriello (51:07)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
François (51:23)
But most of the time this will be the one I listen to and this was the one I was wired, I think, to listen to.
Pat Tenneriello (51:33)
The instinct, the first one.
François (51:35)
That's it.
Pat Tenneriello (51:36)
wondering like when you have creative and artistic work to do, how do you make space for it? How do you listen to it? Like where does that creativity come from?
François (51:45)
think it comes from my upbringing where I've always had to create a lot of entertainment for myself when I was a kid.
And I think that's where it comes from, simply.
I would make movies by myself when I was a kid. would like my, sometimes my mom, she was working at,
at the university and sometimes she would get the VHS camera, she would borrow the VHS camera from the lab would just film stuff and I would basically take it and film stuff myself, make little movies. During my teenage years, I would make movies with my friends on the weekend. As soon as we had a camera on our hand, it was like no question, it's like, okay, we're making movie. What is it? We don't know, but we're making a movie.
One of my friends showed me how to edit with two VHS unit, record on one, play, pause on the other, outplug the wires properly and everything. So it just came from fun. It just came from having a lot of fun as a kid. And little that you know, all these moments that you find having a lot of fun creating whatever you feel like creating, they are hours you're clocking in in your craft.
Pat Tenneriello (52:31)
You
you
Yeah. Yeah.
François (52:56)
And you know, I think it comes from a jazz musician. I'm not sure that, you to really like master, become sort of like a master at something, you need to clock in 10,000 hours. Have you clocked in your 10,000 hours? The earlier you start, the better. So, and I'm a firm believer in action. I was listening to like, you know, your other podcasts and everything. And when I remember Croix saying it, like, you know, how he's a believer in action. To me, like one of the best,
Pat Tenneriello (53:10)
Right.
François (53:25)
slogan ever that was ever done was just do it by Nike. It was one of the most brilliant things. When it comes to creation, do it. Do it. There's no excuse. Or like, I don't have the right camera, I don't have the right tools, I don't have the right this or whatever. It's like, no, just start. Just start from somewhere. For us, when we were a kid, it started with a camera. It started with having that.
day in our lives when we have a camera available let's do something with it now what do we do okay just start
Pat Tenneriello (54:01)
It reminds me of a conversation you and I had at the beginning of last year, shortly after I had been laid off from my job. And were talking about the difference between people like you who have quote unquote found their calling or pursuing passion in their career and the other side of that being someone like me.
remember you said, said I was envious of you cause I wanted that. And you said, you know, I'm maybe, but I'm envious of you because you, someone like you, don't have to take that work home with you. You know, your passion could be what's waiting for you at home. It could be the hobby that you do when you're not at the office. it could be your fitness. could be any number of things. Whereas for me, that relentless,
actually leads to relentless perfectionism. And that means that it's hard to switch off. And I feel like it's the work is never done. And, sometimes that can encroach on some of the other parts of my life that are so important to me. I also know that in the last few years, know, with your own video production company, working on some major projects on deadlines.
You've burnt the candle at both ends. know, you're a present father, you're a present husband. And I know that you've, you've put the kids to bed. Tina's gone to bed and you go down to the basement and you'll work through the night on, on deadlines. How do you cope with that?
François (55:14)
Yep. Yep.
That's the reality of working on deadlines. sometimes you have to sacrifice a lot, but the one thing I don't want to sacrifice is the family life.
2023 was like, I almost burnt out. I almost left completely the, I was looking, at the end of the year, I was looking for jobs, for full-time jobs in communications offices or whatever, because I was like, I can't do this anymore, because
as a self-employed person, as this client was maybe giving me 75 % of my yearly income, so I didn't have to hustle too much for contracts to compensate for the rest of the 25%. And all of a sudden, I lost that contract because of budget cuts. And it's the same day that we learned that Tina was pregnant with our second kid. So the same day. So it made it a beautiful day, no matter what, but also the provider
Pat Tenneriello (56:19)
Shh.
François (56:29)
you know, in me, like it's kicked in and it put me in a situation where I had to secure my short-term money income but also get the ball rolling because that's what happened when you're self-employed. You have to get the ball rolling as an entrepreneur and it's once you get the ball rolling that okay you can have like a more predictable life, a life easier to organize but
Pat Tenneriello (56:47)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
François (56:57)
these first moments, these first months or years or whatever it is, you need a lot of sacrifice to get the ball rolling. So during that year I had to get the ball rolling and it was, I was like, it was tough. To the point where I considered like almost like, okay, I'm done. I'm just gonna look for a job. I have one source of income and I have peace with it. But these applications didn't end up
Pat Tenneriello (57:21)
Hmm.
François (57:27)
you know, I didn't get answers, but in a way it was a good thing because I had got the ball rolling efficiently. So 2024 was a great year for work-life balance. I finally was able to get enough clients to keep me busy full time, but giving me enough flexibility to be there with the kids and not having to work full nights. So that's the tough, the very tough thing about being.
you know, self-employed is also putting your limits. But even when it goes well, it's challenging because you have to put your limits yourself. No one is telling you what to work on for your day. You have to decide. You always have to prioritize what you're gonna be working on. You're always responsible for your schedule and...
your responsibility as a father is to be in a good mental state, to be parenting well, to be enjoying your life with your kids and family. And that requires sleep, that requires eating, that requires stuff that sometimes you overlook when you're very busy with deadlines. So it is a very fine balance. is, you know, when people say like, you're freelancer, it must be so nice, you work from home most of the time, you decide what you do, when to do.
It also has the flip side. It's like I don't have one boss Every client is a different boss. And if two of them ask me a favor at the same time, two good clients.
Pat Tenneriello (58:49)
Yeah.
François (58:57)
I gotta do it. So to me, it's not being in my position. It's not necessarily more freedom or less freedom than having a job. Creativity is my job. My passion is my job. it is a good thing because the rest of my day, I don't get frustrated because I don't get to do the things that I...
Pat Tenneriello (59:01)
Mm-hmm.
François (59:26)
really wanna do or whatever, you know, I've done my own artistic, technical, whatever stuff that I like to do with video. So then I'm like, I feel like it's fulfilling so I can be like, then, okay, now it's playing with the kids time. Okay, now it's cooking time or whatever. Or now it's like, okay, I'm gonna do a bit of sport, you know? So it's a balance that works well for me now, but I know that things are gonna change. That's the other thing. It's like things constantly change, needs change. My needs five years ago were not the same.
that I have today and they're not the same that I'm gonna have in five years. So the challenge is always the balance.
Pat Tenneriello (1:00:03)
it's a good segue into family life. I'd like to start with talking about how you met Tina. anyone who had the privilege of being close to you guys at that time where you guys started dating.
we'll probably all feel the same way that it was this fairy tale love. was this very strong love. was the type of love that everyone, you know, dreams and wishes of. That's the type of love that you guys had in my eyes.
wasn't your first marriage. You had been through a divorce. did you know that you wanted to get married again? was your faith in marriage like?
François (1:00:37)
Nope.
Pat Tenneriello (1:00:45)
Can you tell a little bit about how that faith got restored and how you were all in from the very, very early on with Tina?
François (1:00:54)
all my life, when I was a kid, I always wanted to get my parents back together and stuff like that. So I always wanted someone who wanted to get committed with someone and to sort of like prove to me or prove to life that, you know, I can have it, you know, I can have this family that I never got.
and so it may be a very romantic teenager or kid or whatever and even young adult. my first marriage was interesting in a sense that she was a Peruvian woman you know we
We married because we wanted to be in a committed long-term relationship, but it was also a marriage that we had to do to facilitate our permanent residency.
the way I look at it now, it's like this relationship was just not meant to be. We were just not a good fit with each other, but the fight to get to where we wanted, to get the permanent residency and to get...
You know, it's like we had this goal very far away and it's like, yeah, when we get there, things will all be magical and we'll all be happy and everything. You'll be able to work and study here and you'll have a more normal life and we'll get there. But when we got there, realized that, you know what? Doesn't fix any issues. Like it's like a lot of the issues in the couple were shoved under that blanket of that fight that we had to go through, you know?
Pat Tenneriello (1:02:34)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
François (1:02:35)
So
it ended up in a divorce and...
To me, was not, it never felt like a quote unquote real divorce because the marriage itself was, it was part of something to attain another goal.
when I told you with my music career that I moved to Montreal with a girlfriend, with that person, the relationship lasted almost five years. bought a property together and we were about to start a family. She got pregnant, well, unfortunately or fortunately, depends how you see it, but she had a miscarriage.
Pat Tenneriello (1:02:58)
Mm-hmm.
François (1:03:12)
and we separated like a couple of months after that. The breakup was super hard. I never had a hard breakup like that. But then I took, I had a whole year before I Tina. And during this whole year,
It's like, yes, I was living a single life, but always with this sort of obsession of like, I want to get committed with someone. And, you know, I would meet someone, everything would be right, like on paper, you know, I wouldn't meet people that checked every single box, but it was just not it for me. And I would start to get involved and then be like, no, I don't feel it. I would start to get involved and then don't feel it again.
Until I met Tina When I met Tina it was just magnetic. was just, first time I saw her, I remember she came in the newsroom because she got hired as a radio reporter and the way it was set up, we had a table, a round table, we were like six journalists around the table and she was hired as one of them. Just looked at her and was like, who are you? Like, who are you? Where do you come from? What is this?
Pat Tenneriello (1:04:19)
Thanks.
François (1:04:20)
crazy charisma.
cannot even guess your age. It was that mystical of a connection at first. just... Because you know she has insane charisma, Tina. as soon as she started speaking, was like, wow, okay, who is this person? I want to get to know that person. And it's been like that from the very beginning.
Pat Tenneriello (1:04:27)
Okay.
François (1:04:50)
I knew very fast. It just came from within. And then as the relationship started and everything, just realized on a rational, like it was just not the heart. was also like on a rational level, I was like, wow, this person is just perfect for
Pat Tenneriello (1:05:06)
Beautiful. did you always know you wanted to be a father?
François (1:05:12)
Yeah, always. Always, always, it was always very clear. I don't know why, but I always knew that I wanted to
Pat Tenneriello (1:05:24)
up, was there always an age that you had in mind that you wanted to become a father? And then that age came and went, or was, was there, was there a plan or no plan?
François (1:05:32)
It's one of the reasons why I think I got engaged at a young age and that I always felt a rush to do it early. And I think it definitely, I don't see where else could it, it definitely comes from losing my family at a very young age, wanting to reconstruct it, wanting that, craving that. I think it definitely comes, I don't see where else it can come from. So yeah.
So I always knew very young.
Pat Tenneriello (1:06:03)
What has been the biggest surprise in fatherhood for you?
François (1:06:07)
First of all, how it connects you to life in a way that you could have never experienced without having kids.
now that you have kids, it's like, I know what it is to have kids. I know what it was. And I've lived enough, like I had my kids quite later in life, a bit like you, but I mean, even later, like, Rafaela was born, I was just turning 40.
And the biggest surprise was how how rejuvenating it is, how like you get to live life again through the care that you give to that kid, how it connects you to like what life is, how we are wired as a species to like, you know, to...
to evolve and to grow and to take care of the next generation. I feel like before kids, my life was very set and I was just on cruise control without any turbulence at sight. Now, I find myself constantly thinking about my childhood. When my kids go through something, I think about myself. It makes me revisit my whole life. That's it, it connects you to life in a very, very
profound way that you cannot experience when you don't have kids.
That I would say is the biggest thing because of course there's the other stuff, Then you realize there's the more like, you realize how time is precious. You realize how time, you don't have all the time in the world. You realize how time can fly by so fast. dad always warned me like, wait, wait till you're 25, then you'll see that every year it will seem like.
Pat Tenneriello (1:07:27)
Yeah.
now
François (1:07:54)
it's an avalanche, like time will just fly. And it's true, it was already true before having kids, but now with kids, crazy.
Pat Tenneriello (1:07:55)
Okay.
What would you say is the biggest lesson that your kids have taught you?
François (1:08:07)
presence.
presence like
Be there for real. Just let go of the distractions. When you're here, be there. You feel it. And kids feel it. They're the best teachers at that. They will tell you in multiple ways. You just have to be there to get that information. They will not always tell you with words. They will tell you with how they behave. They will tell you with how they act. They will tell you, yeah.
Be there, be there for real. When you play with me, play with me. Just be fully, fully present. And I was lucky, I had parents like that too. So I think...
I got lucky that they gave me a good example in that regard.
Pat Tenneriello (1:08:54)
What's one thing you want to give your daughters that you didn't have growing up?
François (1:08:59)
was telling you before that I had a lot of time alone. I think I had maybe too much. So I feel sometimes I would have needed maybe a little bit more guidance,
a little bit more of initiative, parental initiative. Because like I said, my parents, like they did a tremendous job. I'm not, you know, not putting them down or anything. But I was because I was like, you know, I was not a turbulent kid because I was very, you know, I was able to handle my business, very autonomous. I think it encouraged my parent to give me even more.
And sometimes I would not necessarily ask for it, but now with time I realized that, maybe in some moments I would have needed maybe more initiative, more guidance,
and I didn't know I needed more of that until I had kids
Pat Tenneriello (1:09:45)
The show is all about growing up, growth. What does growing up mean to you?
François (1:09:52)
being able to access my uniqueness. Access my uniqueness and honor it in every sphere of my life. Because I feel that when we grow up,
Like I said a bit with the creative process, right? When we grew up, we just knew into this life, right? We have a nature, but we don't know how this life works. So what do we do? We look up to our parents, we look up to our teachers, we look up to our friends and we emulate what we like. We start by emulating in our learning process. But you always reach a certain point where you're done emulating. And we do this all the time, even in my...
professional life, like when I started radio journalism, I would just learn from my colleagues. would emulate what they do, emulate, emulate, emulate. And then you start to have this feeling like, okay, but what do I have to bring to the table?
How can I now do this my way? I know what to do with now. How can I bring my personality into it? Because at a certain point, human beings, all human beings, we're more like the same. But we have this tiny percentage of uniqueness in each of us. And it's that tiny percentage that makes us interesting to...
other people because it's what gives us another perspective on life and we're all trying to figure this life out together. So what I would say growing up is...
what makes me myself and how can I honor it the best way possible in everything that I do. In parenting, in being a husband, in being a brother, being an uncle, whatever.
peeling off these layers of influences slowly but surely that we that that were good to guide us to a certain point.
But they can only, but emulating can only get you this far. Being yourself will, that's really what's gonna bring you, I think the most fulfillment. Because then from that you're like, okay, you're gonna feel useful in the world because you are bringing yourself to the table. You're not bringing someone else.
Pat Tenneriello (1:12:22)
me think of this book I read where he argues that if you think about it, most people in their whole life won't generate an actual original thought. that most of the time, even on this podcast, like when we talk, I'll say, you know, I read this book and in the book it said this. And so I'm repeating something that's already been originally created or I heard this, or did you hear about that? And so.
it really stuck with me. an original thought that I have that has come from me that hasn't come from something that I've consumed and then regurgitated in a conversation. And it was hard to think of something to be honest.
François (1:13:07)
I've thought about it too, right? And I also think that there's so little that we do that is original, purely original, I mean, because so many people have lived before us. We carry so much human baggage in ourselves.
it's just like music or it's just like cooking, right? How many songs come out in a day? They're the same notes, but how many people cook and cook the same recipes, but they don't taste the same?
the original thing, in its pure form, I have a hard time believing that it exists. But...
It's the personality that you're gonna put into it that's gonna make it original. compare stuff with cooking.
Something as simple as a tomato sauce can be done so many ways, And we were at the table the other day celebrating the one year anniversary of our youngest daughters and your dad was there and Tina wanted to replicate the way that nonna used to do her sauce.
and wanted to replicate the kind of meal that you guys were having when you were kids at her house. And I'm sure she didn't do it the exact same way, none of did it, but Stefano or father felt it, tasted it, it was like, yeah. Like, you know, we got it. Did we get it exactly right? No, but she made it.
with all their heart and all their personality and it's something as simple as a tomato sauce. So I don't know, I'm diverging a bit, but what I mean to say is that I think it's the slight seasonings that we put into what we like and what we wanna do that gives a personality to it. And I think it's okay that we don't do stuff that is purely original. What happens when you study history? Most of the time you find out that history repeats itself.
just in different shapes and forms. And there's very little that we haven't, I think, lived as a species, as a human species already. It's just that we discovered it because it's happening in our lifetime. We have a feeling that, this brilliant idea that I have is brand new. But then if you study, you realize that, no, guess what? Very similar stuff happened before. What's gonna make it original?
It's you living it today. that little thing, that uniqueness again that you have in you, that's gonna interpret it, that's gonna work it a certain way, the treatment that you give it, that's what's gonna give it, I think, originality and uniqueness. But yeah, we're all chefs using the ingredients we found and try to make something new.
Pat Tenneriello (1:15:56)
this is probably a good place to close.
I really appreciate you Francois and I really do appreciate the conversations that we've had and that we're going to continue to have.
François (1:16:07)
So like likewise, Pat,
I just and I just love see watching you like going on this podcast venture and everything being from the media world and everything and just keep doing what you do like, you know, do it your way there's so many podcasts out there but what's gonna make your special is what you put into it and You're definitely on the on the on a great path
Pat Tenneriello (1:16:25)
Alright man, well thank you. Thank you.
Pat Tenneriello (1:16:29)
That's a wrap on this episode of After Peter Pan. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed the conversation, please subscribe, rate, or leave a review. It really helps more people to discover the show. See you next time.
